ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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