Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
