it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
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