return my video game
Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
