they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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