Christians are straight up FREAKS
I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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