U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss vodka workout Fridays
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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