Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
