You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
