i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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