I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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