It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
