I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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