Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
