You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize