he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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