i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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