I hope mine doesn't look like that
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
