It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
