About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Boobs speak an international language.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
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