You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
