Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
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