When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
They are going to name an STD after you.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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