Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
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When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
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I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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