You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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