guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
