meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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