Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
