Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
You did what with his pubic hair?
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
