She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
