can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
