somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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