I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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