when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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