just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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