therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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