I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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