Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Did you just see the Batmobile???
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
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