I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
