There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Panties = found
Randomize
