and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
