do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
