you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
