I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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