He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize