Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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