that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
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Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
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Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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