We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
