I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
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