At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
