He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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