Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
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do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
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a victory without nudity is not really a victory
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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