Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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