the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
