gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Randomize
