it wasn't lemon gatorade
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
