Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Randomize
