Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
