It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
