so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Randomize
