butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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