Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
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