Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Randomize
