If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
It was like getting head from an anaconda
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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