Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
